She was talking to the surgeon !!!

Ashok: Why did u run away from operation table??

Ramesh : The nurse was repeatedly saying-"don't get nervous" ,"don't be afraid. "Be strong" This is a small operation only.."

Ashok : So what was wrong in that???? Why are you so afraid??

Ramesh: Saale

She was talking to the surgeon !!!

Mother का 'M'

Respect your Parents

"माँ" एक ऐसी बैंक है जहाँ आप हर भावना और दुख जमा कर सकते है...              
"पापा" एक ऐसा क्रेडिट कार्ड है जिनके पास बैलेंस न होते हुए भी वह हमारे सपने पूरे करने की कोशिश करते है...

सपने मे अपनी मौत को करीब से देखा

सपने मे अपनी मौत को करीब से देखा...

कफ़न में लिपटे तन जलते अपने शरीर को देखा...

खड़े थे लोग हाथ बांधे एक कतार में...

कुछ थे परेशान कुछ उदास थे .....

पर कुछ छुपा रहे अपनी मुस्कान थे..

दूर खड़ा देख रहा था मैं ये सारा मंजर.....

.....तभी किसी ने हाथ बढा कर मेरा हाथ थाम लिया ....

और जब देखा चेहरा उसका तो मैं बड़ा हैरान था.....

हाथ थामने वाला कोई और नही...मेरा भगवान था...

चेहरे पर मुस्कान और नंगे पाँव था....

जब देखा मैंने उस की तरफ जिज्ञासा भरी नज़रों से.....

तो हँस कर बोला....
"तूने हर दिन दो घडी जपा मेरा नाम था.....
आज प्यारे उसका क़र्ज़ चुकाने आया हूँ...।"

रो दिया मै.... अपनी बेवक़ूफ़ियो पर तब ये सोच कर .....

जिसको दो घडी जपा
वो बचाने आये है...
और जिन मे हर घडी रमा रहा
वो शमशान पहुचाने आये है....

तभी खुली आँख मेरी बिस्तर पर विराजमान था.....
कितना था नादान मैं हकीकत से अनजान था....

कुछ खुबसूरत पंक्तियाँ...

ये शादी नहीं आसान ,
बस इतना समझ लीजिए ;

लाल मिर्च की टॉफी है ,
और चूस चूस कर खानी है |

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.

He handed me a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wasu, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu's Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

I said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wasu smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, I said, 'I'll take a Lassi.'

Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Hindu, Times  of India, ET and India Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wasu,' I was amazed and asked him, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I  spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard about power of choice one day.'

'Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle.'

'If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!' 

'Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

'That hit me right,' said Wasu. 

'It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were
unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' I said.

'It sure has,' Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.'

Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

Have an eagle week... And next...And.... 

A great Thought..

"You don't die if you fall in water, you die only if you don't swim.

Thats the real meaning of life .
GOOD DAY Eagles..

Good article to share.........

Every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realise true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs, but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'.

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy and coming home and seeing his mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you are thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you are probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice.

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said, "Every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them".


Man to Doctor: Doctor, I am frustrated with my life. I want to commit suicide. I can't take it anymore.

Every night my wife goes to a pub
and sleeps with anyone who proposes to her!

Dr.: Relax, take a deep breath, calm down & now tell me....
. .

Mission IMpossible

Tips for wives who cook!!

1) .....While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn't burn

2) .....While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown

3 .....If you add a few drops of vodka in paneer, it will not spoil in summer time

4) .....Putting red wine in dal will enhance the taste
If you can't manage the above,
5) .....Pour 4 pegs in your husband's mouth, then it doesn't matter how your food tastes

I just love the chocolate around them!

An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.

Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday. Why don't you eat them yourself?"

Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.

"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"

Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"

तुम स्कूल के प्रिंसिपल हो

मां: उठो बेटा, तुम्हारे स्कूल जाने का समय हो रहा है।

बेटा (नींद में): मन नहीं है स्कूल जाने का।

मां: कोई 2 वाजिब वजहें बताओ कि तुम स्कूल क्यों नहीं जाना चाहते।

बेटा: पहली वजह- कोई भी बच्चा मुझे पसंद नहीं करता। दूसरी वजह- कोई भी टीचर मुझे पसंद नहीं करता।

मां: ये कोई कारण नहीं हैं। उठो, तुम्हें स्कूल जाना ही होगा।

बेटा: अच्छा मां, तुम मुझे कोई 2 वाजिब वजहें बताओ कि मुझे स्कूल क्यों जाना चाहिए।

मां: पहली वजह- तुम 42 साल के हो, तुम्हें अपनी जिम्मेदारी समझनी चाहिए। दूसरी वजह- तुम स्कूल के प्रिंसिपल हो।

Don't laugh alone.

Pintu : I love u...
Ladki ne zor se thappad maara,
aur boli ..
Kya kaha tune ??

Pintu ne bhi ghuma kar 2 zordaar chaanta maara
aur kaha.. : Kamini.. jab suna hi nahin to maara kyun !


Husband : mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hai

Wife : jao jaakar bartan saaf kar do

Husband : neend me bol raha hun pagli..


Husband: Tumhre Shadi se pehle kitne boyfrnd the?
Wife silent!
Husbend chilla k: Main is khamoshi ko kyA smjhu?
Wife: Haye rabba.... Gin to rhi hoon chilla kyu rhe ho....


DARPOK Hai Wo log jo, single hain..,Shaadi nahi Karte...

Saala JIGAR chahiye, Khushi se BARBAAD Hone Ke Liye....


Saas Bahu Se=Uth Ja Kambakht
Dekh Suraj Kabka Nikal Aaya Hai
Bahu= Hey Relax Mom... Wo Sota Bhi To Muzse Pehle Hai..!

THiNK Different ;-)


Pappu - agar duniya ki sarri admiyo ka chehra ek jaisa hota toh kya hota ?
Golu - wahi hota jo gas cylendr ka hota hai..kabhi iskey ghar kabhi uske ghar 

Worth Reading

Never Tell Ur Problems to all,
20% will not Care
80% will be Glad that U have Them.
Life is similar to Boxing Game.
Defeat is not Declared when U Fall Down.
It is Declared when U Refuse to Get Up.
That is called LIFE EXPERIENCE.
Everything is Valuable only at 2 Times:
1: Before Getting It.
2: After Losing It.
Two Places are most Valuable in the World:
1: The NICEST Place is to be in
Someone's Thoughts.
2: The SAFEST Place is to be in
Someone's Prayers.
'FEAR' has 2 Meanings:
1: Forget Everything & Run.
2: Face Everything & Rejoice.
Choice is Ours.
'EGO' is the only Requirement
to Destroy any Relationship.
Be a Bigger Person,
Skip the 'E' & let it 'GO'.
As long as We do not Forgive People who have Hurt Us,
They Occupy a 'RENT-FREE-SPACE'
in our Mind.
I asked GOD: If everything is already Written in Destiny, then why should I Pray ?
GOD Smiled & said: I have also Written 'CONDITIONS APPLY'.
Empty Pockets Teach Millions of Things in Life. BUT Full Pockets Spoil Us in Million Ways.
TRUST is like a Sticker.
Once it is Removed, it may Stick again, but not as Strong as it Holds
when U First Applied.
Never Win People with Arguments. Rather Defeat Them with Ur Smile.
Because People who always Wish to
Argue with U, cannot Bear Ur SILENCE.
'MEMORIES' are always Special.
Sometimes, We Laugh by Remembering the days We Cried.
Sometimes, We Cry by Remembering the days We Laughed.

Thats LIFE.

we used to be WIRELESS

Sardarji went to US & had a meeting with Bill Gates.

Bill: "I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me."

He takes him to a forest.. .
Bill: "Dig the ground."

Sardarji did it.

Bill: "More Mor­­e…More…"

Sardarji went upto 100 Feet..

Bill: "So now, try to search something."

Sardarji : "I got a Wire."

Bill: "You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones..."

Sardarji became frustrated.He invited Bill to India.Next year Bill wasb in India..

Sardarji : "I want 2 show u our advancement."

The same, he takes Bill 2 a forest.

Sardarji : "Dig it."

Bill does.

Sardarji : "More.Mor­­e.More.

Bill goes upto almost 400 feet.

Sardarji :"Try 2 find sumthing.

Bill tries...

Sardarji :"Did you get anything?"

Bill: "No, there is nothing here."

Sardarji : "You know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to be WIRELESS !!"

Bill Gates Shocked
Sardar Rocked!!

Bolo tararara!!!

This Story is same as to our 'LIFE'...

A Construction Supervisor from 16th Floor of a Building was calling a Worker on Ground Floor.

Because of noise the Worker did not hear his Call.

To draw Attention, the Supervisor threw a 10 Rupee Note in Front of Worker.

He picked up the Note, put it in His Pocket & Continued to Work.

Again to Draw Attention the Supervisor threw 500 Rupee Note & the Worker did the same,

Now the Supervisor picked a small Stone & threw on the Worker.

The Stone hit the Worker.

This time the Worker looked Up & the Supervisor Communicated with Him.
This Story is same as to our 'LIFE'...

God wants to Communicate with Us, but We are Busy doing our Worldly Jobs.

Then, he give Us Small Gifts & Big Gifts......
We just keep them without looking from Where We Got it.
We are the Same.
Just keeping the gifts without Thanking him,
We just say
We are LUCKY.

And when we are Hit with a Small Stone, which We call PROBLEMS,
then only We look Up & Communicate with him.
Thats why it is said. .....
He gives, gives and forgives
We get, get and forget.......

How the word 'Wife' was invented?

Banta: How the word 'Wife' was invented?

 Santa: They took the first two and last two letters of 'WILDLIFE'!

"Mobile Phones Prohibited"

5 years back when I went to temple, it was written "Mobile Phones Prohibited ".

2 years back it was changed as "Keep your mobile switched off".

Last year it was changed as "Keep your mobile in Silent mode".

Yesterday when I went, it is changed as :
"If you wish to take a Selfie with Lord/Idol, please pay Rs.50 at the Counter "

---How times change!

Speech by Thomas Friedman in the New York Times.....

"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not leave them. Mothers said, think of the starving children in India and finish the dinner.'

And now I tell my children : 'Finish your homework. Think of the children in India, who would become CEOs and make you starve, if you don't.'?"


Ravana:Bavathi biksham dehi ....

Sita: Togoli swamy ....

Ravana: Border line datti baramma..

She came out and while droping the biksha ..

Ravana: ha ha ha ...nanau swami alla...ravana

Sita: ha ha ha .. nanu sita alla ..avara mane kelasadavalu......  MUNIYAMMA

THE PREGNANT DEER - A Beautiful Story

In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth.
She finds a remote grass field near a strong-flowing river.
This seems a safe place.
Suddenly labour pains begin.

At the same moment, dark clouds gather around above & lightning starts a forest fire.
She looks to her left & sees a hunter with his bow extended pointing at her.
To her right, she spots a hungry lion approaching her.

What can the pregnant deer do?
She is in labour!

What will happen?

Will the deer survive?

Will she give birth to a fawn?

Will the fawn survive?

Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire?

Will she perish to the hunters' arrow?

Will she die a horrible death at the hands of the hungry lion approaching her?

She is constrained by the fire on the one side & the flowing river on the other & boxed in by her natural predators.

What does she do?
She focuses on giving birth to a new life.

The sequence of events that follows are:

- Lightning strikes & blinds the hunter.
- He releases the arrow which zips past the deer & strikes the hungry lion.
- It starts to rain heavily, & the forest fire is slowly doused by the rain.
- The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.

In our life too, there are moments of choice when we are confronted on αll sides with negative thoughts and possibilities.

Some thoughts are so powerful that they overcome us & overwhelm us.

Maybe we can learn from the deer.
The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply to give birth to a baby.

The rest was not in her hands & any action or reaction that changed her focus would have likely resulted in death or disaster.

Ask yourself,
Where is your focus?
Where is your faith and hope?

In the midst of any storm, do keep it on God always.
He will never ever disappoint you. NEVER.

Remember, He neither slumbers nor sleeps...

Impact of Job Change ... Absolute Classic!!!

One day, A taxi passenger touched driver on his shoulder to ask something..

Driver screamed, lost control of car, went up on footpath & stopped few centimeters from a shop

Passenger apologized n said : "i didn't realize dat a little touch would scare u so much"

Driver replied : sorry its not ur fault, its my 1st day as a cab driver, i ve been driving a van carrying dead bodies from last 25 years..

Absolute Classic!!!

I forgot how to sleep...

When TV came to my house,
I forgot how to read books.

When the car came to my doorstep,
I forgot how to walk.

When I got the mobile in my hand,
I forgot how to write letters.

When computer came to my house,
I forgot spellings

When the AC came to my house,
I stopped going under the tree for cool breeze

When I stayed in the city,
I forgot the smell of mud.

By dealing with banks,
I forgot the value of money.

With the smell of perfume,
I forgot the fragrance of fresh flowers.

With the coming of fast food,
I forgot to cook dal and rice.

Always running around,
I forgot how to stop.

And lastly when I got watsapp,
I forgot how to sleep...

A conversation between Wayne Dyer and his student:

“If I were to squeeze this orange as hard as I could, what would come out?” I asked him.

He looked at me like I was a little crazy and said, “Juice, of course”.

“Do you think apple juice could come out of it?”

‘No! he laughed.

‘What about grapefruit juice?’


‘What would come of it?’

‘Orange juice, of course’

‘Why? Why when you squeeze an orange does orange juice comes out?’

He may have been getting a little exasperated with me at this point.

“Well, it’s an orange and that’s what’s inside.”

I nodded.

“Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you. And someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offends you. And out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear. Why?

The answer, as our young friend has told us, is “because that’s what’s inside”. It’s one of the great lessons of life.

What come out when life squeezes you? When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing: your mother, your brother, your children, the government.

If someone says something about you that you don’t like, what comes out of you is what’s inside. And what’s inside is up to you, it’s your choice.

When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside. Once you take away all those negative things you don’t want in your life and replace them with love, you’ll find yourself living a highly functioning life.”

Squeeze out Love and Compassion!!!

भाई पर कविता

भाई तो आखिर भाई होता है
माँ बाप की आन होता है।
अपनी बहन की शान होता है।
अपनी बीबी की जान होता है।
अपने बच्चों की मुस्कान होता है।
भाई तो आखिर भाई होता है।
अपने माँ बाप का दुलार होता है।
अपनी बहन का प्यार होता है।
अपनी बीबी का इंतजार होता है।
अपने बच्चों का उपहार होता है।
भाई तो आखिर भाई होता है।
अपने माँ बाप की बीमारी में श्रवन कुमार होता है।
अपनी बहन की बिदाई में सुकुमार होता है।
अपनी शादी में बीबी के सपनो का राजकुमार होता है।
अपने बच्चों के जन्म पर जिम्मेदारी का अहसास होता है।
भाई तो आखिर भाई होता है।

Seven words all have in common

See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common. 

1. Banana 
2. Dresser 
3. Grammar 
4. Potato 
5. Revive 
6. Uneven 
7. Assess 

Are you peeking or have you already given up? 

Give it another try . . . 
Look at each word carefully. 

You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. This is so good . . . 

No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters. 

Answer is below! 
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Did you figure it out? No? Then send this to more people and stump them as well.

Simple yet confusing n challenging

A very simple but confusing puzzle.

A lady buys goods worth rs.200 from a shop. (shopkeeper selling the goods with zero profit).

The lady gives him 1000 rs note. The shopkeeper gets the change from the next shop and keeps 200 for himself and returns rs.800 to d lady.

Later the shopkeeper of the next shop comes with the 1000rs note saying "duplicate" and takes his money back.

"How much LOSS did the shopkeeper face ?"
A. 200
B. 800
C. 1200
D. 1800
E. 2000
F. 1600
G. 1000

अब बतायें कितनी चूडियां चुरायीं थीं?

1 दुकान से 7 चोरों ने कुछ चूडियाँ चुराईं और भागकर 1 जंगल में छिप गये । रात होने पर सभी सो गये । आधी रात को 2 चोर उठे, उन्होंने कहा आपस में बाँट लें, बराबर बराबर बांटने के बाद 1 चूडी बची । 
अब उन्होंने निश्चय किया कि तीसरे को जगाकर 3 बराबर हिस्से कर लें, लेकिन फिर 1 चूडी बची । 
चौथे को जगाकर 4 बराबर हिस्से किये फिर 1 चूडी बची । 
इस प्रकार 6 वें तक बराबर हिस्से करने पर 1 चूडी बचती रही लेकिन 7 वें को जगाकर 7 बराबर हिस्से किये ताे 7 बराबर हिस्से होने के बाद 1 भी चूडी नहीं बची । 

अब बतायें कितनी चूडियां चुरायीं थीं? 

Batao kon hai wo...

Ek lamba aadmi chalte chalte thak jaye,,,
Agar use kato to phir se wo chalne lag jaye...

batao kon hai wo...

रिचार्ज वाले भैया

एक लड़की अपने एक दोस्त के साथ एक रेस्टोरेंट में लंच पर गई।

खाने का ऑर्डर देने के बाद लड़की ने वॉशरूम की तरफ इशारा करते हुए उससे से कहा -

एक्सक्यूज़ मी और वॉशरूम की तरफ चल पड़ी।

उसके जाने के बाद अपने दोस्त ने देखा कि वह अपना मोबाइल टेबल पर ही छोड़ गई है।

अपने दोस्त ने सोचा - देखता हूं कि इसने मेरा नंबर कौन से नाम से save किया है।

जानू? जान? डार्लिंग या कुछ और? Something like that...

जैसे ही उसने अपनी फ्रेंड के मोबाइल से अपना नंबर डायल किया...

उसके तोते उड गए...


स्क्रीन पर नाम आया 'रिचार्ज वाले भैया'। 

Aur thappad Ki aawaz aayi....

Ek Bar Kejriwal, Modi, Sonia aur Kareena Train se ja rahe the.

Tabhi ek Gufa (tunnel) Aayi aur Kissing aur thappad Ki aawaz aayi....

Jab train bahar aayi to Kejriwal ka Gaal Laal tha....

Sab ke Sab Chup 

Sonia soch rahi thi Ke AAM ADMI paagal hote hai, Kejriwal Ne Kareena ko Kiss Kiya Hoga, aur thapad khaya Hoga....

Kareena  soch rahi thi Ke Kejriwal ne Mujhe Kiss Karne ke Liye galti se Sonia Ko Kiss kar liya hoga aur thappad Khaya....

Kejriwal soch raha tha Ke Modi  ne Kareena ko kiss kiya Lekin, Kareena ne Mujhe Samajh kar mujhe thappad Mara..

Modi soch raha tha ek bar fir gufa  aaye aur Main fir se kiss ki awaj Nikal kar fir jor se kejriwal ko thappad Maaru… 

“Abhi sale ne politics dekhi kaha Hai…

changed my WILL three times. . .

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for many years. He went to the doctor and got himself a set of hearing aid that allowed him to hear 100%.

A month later, the doctor remarked: "Your hearing is perfect, your family must be really pleased that you can hear again". 

The gentleman replied,

"Oh, I haven't told them,
I just sit around and listen to their conversation.

I've changed my WILL three times. . ."

जन धन में खाता खुलवाना है

कस्टमर : जन धन में खाता खुलवाना है
बैंक मैनेजर : खुलवा लो

कस्टमर : क्या ये जीरो बैलेंस में खुलता है

बैंक मैनेजर : (मन ही मन में ....... साला पता है फिर भी पूछ रहा है) हाँ जी फ्री में खुलवा लो

कस्टमर : इसमें सरकार कितना पैसा डालेगी?

बैंक मैनेजर : जी अभी तो कुछ पता नहीं

कस्टमर : तो मैं ये खाता क्यों खुलवाऊँ ?

बैंक मैनेजर : जी मत खुलवाओ

कस्टमर : फिर भी सरकार कुछ तो देगी

बैंक मैनेजर : आपको फ्री में एटीएम दे देंगे

कस्टमर : जब उसमे पैसा ही नहीं होगा तो एटीएम का क्या करूँगा?

बैंक मैनेजर : पैसे डलवाओ भैया तुम्हारा खाता है

कस्टमर : मेरे पास पैसा होता तो मैं पहले नहीं खुलवा लेता, तुम खाता खोल रहे हो तो तुम डालो न पैसे

बैंक मैनेजर : अरे भाई सरकार खुलवा रही है

कस्टमर : तो ये सरकारी बैंक नहीं है ?

बैंक मैनेजर : अरे भाई सरकार तुम्हारा बीमा फ्री में कर रही है , पुरे एक लाख का

कस्टमर : (खुश होते हुए) अच्छा तो ये एक लाख मुझे कब मिलेंगे?

बैंक मैनेजर : (गुस्से में) जब तुम मर जाओगे तब तुम्हारी बीबी को मिलेंगे

कस्टमर : (अचम्भे से) तो तुम लोग मुझे मारना चाहते हो? और मेरी बीबी से तुम्हारा क्या मतलब है?

बैंक मैनेजर : अरे भाई ये हम नहीं सरकार चाहती है

कस्टमर : (बीच में बात काटते हुए) तुम्हारा मतलब सरकार मुझे मारना चाहती है?

बैंक मैनेजर : अरे यार मुझे नहीं पता, तुमको खाता खुलवाना है या नहीं?
कस्टमर : नहीं पता का क्या मतलब? मुझे पूरी बात बताओ

बैंक मैनेजर : अरे अभी तो मुझे भी पूरी बात नहीं पता, मोदी ने कहा कि खाता खोलो तो हम खोल रहे हैं

कस्टमर : अरे नहीं पता तो यहां क्यों बैठे हो,  (जन धन के पोस्टर को देखते हुए) अच्छा ये 5000 का ओवरड्राफ्ट क्या है?

बैंक मैनेजर : मतलब तुम अपने खाता से 5000 निकाल सकते हो

कस्टमर : (बीच में बात काटते हुए) ये हुई ना बात, ये लो आधार कार्ड, 2 फोटो और निकालो 5000

बैंक मैनेजर : अरे यार ये तो 6 महीने बाद मिलेंगे

कस्टमर : मतलब मेरे 5000 का इस्तेमाल 6 महीने तक तुम लोग करोगे

बैंक मैनेजर : भैया ये रुपये ही 6 महीने बाद आएंगे

कस्टमर : झूठ मत बोलो, पहले बोला कि कुछ नहीं मिलेगा,  फिर कहा एटीएम मिलेगा, फिर बोला बीमा मिलेगा, फिर बोलते हो 5000 रुपये मिलेंगे, फिर कहते हो कि नहीं मिलेंगे, तुम्हे कुछ पता भी है?

बैंक मैनेजर बेचारा : अरे मेरे बाप कानून की कसम, भारत माँ की कसम,  मैं सच कह रहा हूँ,

मोदी जी ने अभी कुछ नहीं बताया है, ....तुम चले जाओ,...... खुदा की कसम, ...तुम जाओ, ....मेरी सैलरी इतनी नहीं है कि .......एक साथ ब्रेन हैमरेज और हार्ट अटैक दोनो का ईलाज करवा सकु

और करो शक.....

बीवी office से थोड़ा जल्दी घर पहुँची,  तो चुपचाप Bedroom का दरवाजा

खोला तो देखा कि कम्बल में 2 की बजाए 4 टाँगे नजर आ रही थी।

उसने आव देखा ना ताव,  एक क्रिकेट का bat ऊठाया और ज़ोर-ज़ोर से मारना शुरू कर दिया..।

जब मार-मार के थक गयी तो पानी पीने kitchen में गयी....

और देखा कि उसका पति बाहर balcony में बैठे magazine पढ़ रहा है।

पति बोला : तुम्हारे मम्मी-पापा आये हैं

और मैंने उनको bedroom में सुलाया है। जा के मिल लो ....!!!!!

    -----    ----
Moral : और करो शक.....

तुम्हारे शादी से पहले कितने बॉय फ्रेंड थे

शादी के बाद पति ने पूछा:  "तुम्हारे शादी से पहले कितने बॉय फ्रेंड थे"

पत्नी ने एक लिफाफा दिया:जिस में चावल के कुछ दाने और दो सौ रुपैये थे 

पति: ये क्या है ?

पत्नी: मै जब भी बॉय फ्रेंड बनाती थी तो एक चावल का दाना इस लिफाफे में डाल देती थी .

पति (दाने गिन के) बस सात ? कोई बात नही 

पर ये दो सौ रुपैये क्यों ?

पत्नी : चार किलो चावल बेच दिए

Distracted Couple

Heart from Egg Yolk

Today is Jim's birthday ...

Today is Jim's birthday ...

So his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?
WIFE: How does he know you?
JIM: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!

HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again,Jim?
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!

TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?

Today is Jim's funeral.

Titan to Rolex

Titan : Tu bhi waqt batata  hai, mein bhi waqt batata hu, lekin phir bhi teri izzat zyada kyu hai ??

Awsome reply.

Rolex : Dost....Tu "insaan ko waqt" batata hai Aur mein...
"Insaan Ka Waqt" Batata hu ...!

A funny analysis...

If you follow the right man u become Tina Ambani If you follow the wrong man u become Karishma Kapoor ...
If you follow many men u remain Bipasha Basu (bachelor)... If you don't follow man u become Jayalalita ...

Beware do not follow man  blindly...else u become Deepika Padukone...
If u keep on thinking who to follow.... Sorry... U will remain a kid like Alia Bhatt....

A funny analysis... If you follow the right woman u become Robert vadra...
If you follow the wrong woman u become Vijay maliya...
If you follow many women u remain Salman khan (bachelor)...
If you don't follow women u become Narendra modi...

Beware do not follow woman  blindly...else u become Manmohan singh...
If u keep on thinking who to follow.... Sorry... U will remain a kid like Rahul Gandhi....

16 Reasons Indians Are Unique

1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl

2. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room

3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway stn) is an important family affair

4. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick

5. Every Indian mother has 2 careers - Working / Housewife + Match Making

6. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother

7. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy

8. We go on cleaning sprees only when we have guests coming over

9. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses.  No exemption

10. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12 Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!

11. If we live in another city and don't call our Mom daily , she’ll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive

12. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. “Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain.”

13. No matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue.

14. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta

15. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the remote and make it work?

16. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin.

Jimbak Doomba Amba Dandi Boomba

Teacher to Student - what is pie by 4 quarter amplitude phase modulation?.

Student - jimbak doomba amba dandi boomba.

Teacher - i didn't get you.

Student - same here babes.. same here!

The ...E... life !!!!!

In this world of E-mails, E-ticket, E-paper, E-recharge, E-transfer and the latest E-Governance...

Never Forget "E-shwar (God)" who makes e-verything e-asy for e-veryone e-veryday.

"E" is the most Eminent letter of the English alphabet.

Men or Women don't exist without "E".

House or Home can't be made without "E".

Bread or Butter can't be found without "E".

"E" is the beginning of "existence" and the end of "trouble."

It's not at all in 'war' but twice in 'peace'.

It's once in 'hell' but twice in 'heaven'.

"E" represented in 'Emotions', Hence,  all emotional relations like Father, Mother, Brother, Sister,wife & friends have 'e' in them.

"E" also represents 'Effort' & 'Energy', Hence to be 'Better' from good both "e" 's are added.

Without "e", we would have no love, life, wife, friends or hope & 'see', 'hear', 'smell', or 'taste' as 'eye' 'ear', 'nose' & 'tongue' are incomplete without "e".

Hence GO with "E" but without E-GO.

Beautiful letter written by a father to his son

Dear son ,

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.

3. What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. Remember the following as you go through life:

 1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. 
To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess. 
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.

 3.Life is shortWhen you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4.Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. 
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

 5.A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

 6.I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7.You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

 8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

                 Your Dad

गर्मी के दोहे

रहिमन कूलर राखिये ..बिन कूलर सब सून।
कूलर बिना ना किसी को ..गर्मीमें मिले सुकून।।

एसी जो देखन मैं गया ..एसी ना मिलया कोय।
जब घर लौटा आपणे ..गर्मी में ऐसी-तैसी होय।।

बिजली का बिल देखकर ..दिया कबीरा रोय।
कूलर एसी के फेर में ..खाता बचा ना कोय।।

बाट ना देखिए एसी की ..चला लीजिए फैन।
चार दिनों की बात है ..फिर आगे सब चैन।।

पंखा देखत रात गई ..आई ना लेकिन लाईट।
मच्छर गाते रहे कान में .. पार्टी आँल नाईट।।

औरत की उम्र नहीं पूछनी चाहिए

कभी किसी औरत की उम्र नहीं पूछनी चाहिए.
औरतो की उम्र नहीं होती.

उनकी सिर्फ अवस्था होती है.



Game खेलना शुरू

अपनी कमजोरियां उन्ही लोगों को बताइये जो हर हाल में आपके
साथ मजबूती से खड़े होना जानते हैं

क्यूँकि रिश्तों में विश्वास और मोबाईल में नेटवर्क ना हो तो
लोग Game खेलना शुरू कर देते हैं !!...

नौकरी मिल गई।

एक महिला को मुंबई में नौकरी मिल गई।
वह अकेली ही नौकरी ज्वाइन करने पहुंची,
वहां कंपनी ने उसे रहने के लिए एक फ्लैट भीदेदिया।
महिला ने सोचा कि अपने पति को सूचना दे दूं
ताकि उन्हें चिंता न हो, उसने पति के
मोबाइल में एसएमएस लिखा परन्तु
गलती से गलत नंबर पर भेज दिया।
जिस आदमी को वह एसएमएस
मिला उसकी पत्नी गुजर गई थी और
वह अभी-अभी अंतिम संस्कार करके
लौटा था।
एसएमएस पढ़ते ही वह आदमी बेहोश
हो गया और उसे अस्पताल में
भर्ती कराना पड़ा।
एसएमएस में लिखा था -
 मैं सही-सलामत पहुंच गई हूं
यहां रहने के लिए अच्छी जगह भी मिल गई है.....
आप बिलकुल चिंता मत करना बस 1-2 दो दिन में ही आपको भी बुला लूंगी।
आपकी पत्नी ........

नींद और मौत में क्या फर्क है...?

किसी ने क्या खूबसूरत जवाब दिया है....

"नींद आधी मौत है"
"मौत मुकम्मल नींद है"

जिंदगी तो अपने ही तरीके से चलती है....  औरों के सहारे तो जनाज़े उठा करते हैं।
सुबहे होती है , शाम होती है... उम्र यू ही तमाम होती है ।

कोई रो कर दिल बहलाता है
कोई हँस कर दर्द छुपाता है.

क्या करामात है कुदरत की,
ज़िंदा इंसान पानी में डूब जाता है
और मुर्दा तैर के दिखाता है...

बस के कंडक्टर सी हो गयी है जिंदगी ।
सफ़र भी रोज़ का है और
जाना भी कही नहीं।.....

सफलता के सात भेद, मुझे अपने कमरे के अंदर ही उत्तर मिल गये !

छत ने कहा : ऊँचे उद्देश्य रखो !
पंखे ने कहा : ठन्डे रहो !
घडी ने कहा : हर मिनट कीमती है !
शीशे ने कहा : कुछ करने से पहले अपने अंदर झांक लो !
खिड़की ने कहा : दुनिया को देखो !
कैलेंडर ने कहा : Up-to-date रहो !
दरवाजे ने कहा : अपने लक्ष्य को प्राप्त करने के लिए पूरा जोर लगाओ !

लकीरें भी बड़ी अजीब होती हैं------

माथे पर खिंच जाएँ तो किस्मत बना देती हैं
जमीन पर खिंच जाएँ तो सरहदें बना देती हैं
खाल पर खिंच जाएँ तो खून ही निकाल देती हैं
और रिश्तों पर खिंच जाएँ तो दीवार बना देती हैं..

एक रूपया एक लाख नहीं होता, मगर फिर भी एक रूपया एक लाख से निकल जाये तो वो लाख भी लाख नहीं रहता, हम आपके लाखों दोस्तों में बस वही एक रूपया हैं …
संभाल के रखनT , बाकी सब मोह माया है

Sports Stadium

8 boys were standing  on a track for racing.

Ready !

Steady !

Bang !

With sound of Pistol all boys started running.

Hardly had they covered 10 to 15 steps,
1 boy slipped & fell.
He started crying due to pain.

When other 7 Boys heard him, all of them STOPPED running..

STOOD for a while, turned BACK & RAN towards him.

All the 7 Boys LIFTED the Boy,
pacified him,
joined hands together,
walked together &
reached WINNING Post.

Officials were shocked. 

Many Eyes were filled with tears.

It happened at Pune.

Race was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health...

All participants were Mentally RETARDED (CHALLENGED).

What did they teach ?
Sportsman spirit,

We Surely can NEVER Do this,


We have Brains.... 
We have Ego...
We have Attitude


"प्यार इंसान" से करो उसकी "आदत" से नहीं. ..

"रुठो" उनकी बातों से मगर उनसे नहीं. ...

"भूलो" उनकी गलतियाँ पर उन्हें नहीं. ...

क्यों की "रिश्तों" से बढकर कुछ भी नहीं !

BELIEVE in your capabilities

डाली  पर  बैठे  हुए  परिंदे  को  पता  है  कि  डाली  कमज़ोर  है ,  फिर  भी  वो  उस  डाली  पर  है . क्यों ?
क़्योकी  उसको  डाली  से  ज़यादा  अपने  पंख  पर  भरोसा  है. 


Young Lady visited a Bar for the First Time, She Sat at the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..

A Guy at Her Left side ordered: "Jack Daniels, Single"
A Guy at Her Right Side ordered: "Johnny Walker, Single"

The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??


महाभारत... कल और आज...

दुर्योधन और राहुल गांधी...
इन्हें अपने टेलेंट पर नहीं ,अपने पुश्तैनी अधिकार पर राज्य चाहिए...!!!

भीष्म पितामह और एल. के आडवाणी...
इन्हें कभी भी राजतिलक का अवसर प्राप्त नहीं हुआ, पर आदर बहुत हुआ... और जिंदगी की आखिरी दौर में दोनों ही असहाय हो गये...!!!

नरेंद्र मोदी और अर्जुन...
दोनों ही टॅलेंटेड, धर्म की राजनीति करते हुए उच्चस्तर पर पहुंच गये...!!!

कर्ण और मनमोहन सिंह...
दोनों ही टॅलेंटेड, पर गलत और अधर्म के राह पर चलने वालो के साथ. दोनों ही इन्ही लोगों के कर्म के बोझ तले दबे हुए...!!!

अभिमन्यु और अरविंद केजरीवाल...
दोनों ही रणनीति में नये और अधूरा ज्ञान होने के बावजूद, शत्रु के चक्रव्यूह में खुद के दम पर जितने कि चाह रखनेवाले. अननुभवी, एक बेचारा मारा गया, दुसरे को उखाड़ कर फेंक दिया जाएगा...!!!

दिग्विजय सिंह और शकुनि मामा...
दोनों ही कपटी और चालबाज. एक दुर्योधन को राज्य दिलाना चाहता था, और दूसरा  राहुल बाबा को...!!!

सोनिया और धृतराष्ट्र...
दोनों के आँखो पर पुत्रप्रेम का अंधेरा होने के कारण - पुत्र अक्षम और काबिल नहीं होने के बावजूद उसे ही समर्थन और सहारा देने के लिए विवश...!!!!

Worth reading - Life is Coffee

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about

'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups !!!

(Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones......)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand,

the professor said:-

"If you noticed - all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up, leaving behind the ordinary ones !!

Everyone of you wanted the Best CUPS,


that is the source of your STRESS & TENSION !!

What you really wanted was

"Coffee", not the "Cup" !

But you still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee ;

Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc. are the Cups !!!

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !!

Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!

What is life ? 
They say its from B to D...from Birthday to Death..But what's between B and D?
Its a  " C "  Choice ...
Our life is a matter of choices...
Live well and it will never go wrong....

कुछ रोचक जानकारी क्या आपको पता है ?

1. चीनी को जब चोट पर लगाया जाता है, दर्द तुरंत कम हो जाता है...

2. जरूरत से ज्यादा टेंशन आपके दिमाग को कुछ समय के लिए बंद कर सकती है...

3. 92% लोग सिर्फ हस देते हैं जब उन्हे सामने वाले की बात समझ नही आती...

4.बतक अपने आधे दिमाग को सुला सकती हैं जबकि उनका आधा दिमाग जगा रहता....

5. कोई भी अपने आप को सांस रोककर नही मार सकता...

6. स्टडी के अनुसार : होशियार लोग ज्यादा तर अपने आप से बातें करते हैं...

7. सुबह एक कप चाय की बजाए एक गिलास ठंडा पानी आपकी नींद जल्दी खोल देता है...

8. जुराब पहन कर सोने वाले लोग रात को बहुत कम बार जागते हैं या बिल्कुल नही जागते...

9. फेसबुक बनाने वाले मार्क जुकरबर्ग के पास कोई कालेज डिगरी नही है...

10. आपका दिमाग एक भी चेहरा अपने आप नही बना सकता आप जो भी चेहरे सपनों में देखते हैं वो जिदंगी में कभी ना कभी आपके द्वारा देखे जा चुके होते हैं...

11. अगर कोई आप की तरफ घूर रहा हो तो आप को खुद एहसास हो जाता है चाहे आप नींद में ही क्यों ना हो...

12. दुनिया में सबसे ज्यादा प्रयोग किया जाने वाला पासवर्ड 123456 है.....

13. 85% लोग सोने से पहले वो सब सोचते हैं जो वो अपनी जिंदगी में करना चाहते हैं...

14. खुश रहने वालों की बजाए परेशान रहने वाले लोग ज्यादा पैसे खर्च करते हैं...

15. माँ अपने बच्चे के भार का तकरीबन सही अदांजा लगा सकती है जबकि बाप उसकी लम्बाई का...

16. पढना और सपने लेना हमारे दिमाग के अलग-अलग भागों की क्रिया है इसी लिए हम सपने में पढ नही पाते...

17. अगर एक चींटी का आकार एक आदमी के बराबर हो तो वो कार से दुगुनी तेजी से दौडेगी...

18. आप सोचना बंद नही कर सकते.....

19. चींटीयाँ कभी नही सोती...

20. हाथी ही एक एसा जानवर है जो कूद नही सकता...

21. जीभ हमारे शरीर की सबसे मजबूत मासपेशी है...

22. नील आर्मस्ट्रांग ने चन्द्रमा पर अपना बायां पाँव पहलेरखा था उस समय उसका दिल 1 मिनट में 156 बार धडक रहा था...

23. पृथ्वी के गुरूत्वाकर्षण बल के कारण पर्वतों का 15,000मीटर से ऊँचा होना संभव नही है...

23. शहद हजारों सालों तक खराब नही होता..

24. समुंद्री केकडे का दिल उसके सिर में होता है...

25. कुछ कीडे भोजन ना मिलने पर खुद को ही खा जाते है....

26. छींकते वक्त दिल की धडकन 1 मिली सेकेंड के लिए रूक जाती है...

27. लगातार 11 दिन से अधिक जागना असंभव है...

28. हमारे शरीर में इतना लोहा होता है कि उससे 1 इंच लंबी कील बनाई जा सकती है.....

29. बिल गेट्स 1 सेकेंड में करीब 12,000 रूपए कमाते हैं...

30. आप को कभी भी ये याद नही रहेगा कि आपका सपना कहां से शुरू हुआ था...

31. हर सेकेंड 100 बार आसमानी बिजली धरती पर गिरती है...

32. कंगारू उल्टा नही चल सकते...

33. इंटरनेट पर 80% ट्रैफिक सर्च इंजन से आती है...

34. एक गिलहरी की उमर,, 9 साल होती है...

35. हमारे हर रोज 200 बाल झडते हैं...

36. हमारा बांया पांव हमारे दांये पांव से बडा होता हैं...

37. गिलहरी का एक दांत  हमेशा बढता रहता है....

38. दुनिया के 100 सबसे अमीर आदमी एक  साल में इतना कमा लेते हैं जिससे दुनिया की गरीबी 4 बार खत्म की जा सकती है...

39. एक शुतुरमुर्ग की आँखे उसके दिमाग से बडी होती है...

40. चमगादड गुफा से निकलकर हमेशा बांई तरफ मुडती है...

41. ऊँट के दूध की दही नही बन सकता...

42. एक काॅकरोच सिर कटने के बाद भी कई दिन तक जिवित रह सकता है...

43. कोका कोला का असली रंग हरा था...

44. लाइटर का अविष्कार माचिस से पहले हुआ था...

45. रूपए कागज से नहीं बल्कि कपास से बनते है...

46. स्त्रियों की कमीज के बटन बाईं तरफ जबकि पुरूषों की कमीजके बटन दाईं तरफ होते हैं...

47. मनुष्य के दिमाग में 80% पानी होता है.

48. मनुष्य का खून 21 दिन तक स्टोर किया जा सकता है...

49. फिंगर प्रिंट की तरह मनुष्य की जीभ के निशान भी अलग-अलग होते हैं...

Wah .. Wah! Wah ... Wah!

Dukh auto update nahi, Phir bi download ho jata hai...

Sukh me virus nahi, Phir bi hang ho jata hai...

Feeling ka memory card nahi, Phir bi storage ho jati hai...

Relationship me camera nahi, Phir bi selfi ho jata hai...

Jindagi whatsapp nahi, Phir bi last seen ho jati hai...

Insaan mobile nahi, Phir bi badal jata hai...

Our aim in life should be

Our aim in life should be
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

..9-glass drinking water.
..8-hrs sound sleep.
..7-wonders tour with family.
..6-six digit income.
..5-days work a week
..3-bedroom flat
..2-cute children.

Alphabetic advice for ALL

Avoid Boring Company..

Don't Entertain Fools..

Go for High Ideas .

Just Keep a friend like ME..

Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..

Quit Reacting to Silly tales..

Tune Urself for ur Victory..

We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

Home Cure For Diabetes:

There are 2 home remedies for Diabetes. One is Ladies Finger and the other is Black Tea.

BLACK TEA: Due to high medication, the organ that is worst affected is the Kidney. It has been observed that Black Tea (tea without milk, sugar or lemon) is good for the Kidney. Hence a cup of black tea every morning is highly advisable.

The Process:
1. Boil water along with the tea leaves (any tea leaves will do).
2. Drink the concoction without addingmilk, sugar or lemon.

The Cure:
Black Tea will help in enhancing the function of the kidney, thereby not affecting it more.

Ladies finger is considered to be a good home medicine for diabetes.

The Process:
1. Slit the ladies finger into 2 halves vertically and soak it in water overnight.
2. The next morning, remove the ladies fingers and drink the water, before eating your breakfast.

The Cure:
After the ladies fingers are soaked overnight in the water, you can observe that the water becomes sticky in the morning. This sticky water is considered to be good for people who suffer from Diabetes.

Simple Home Remedy for Blood Pressure

One of the simple home remedy cure for Blood Pressure is Methi Seeds or Fenugreek Seeds.

The Process:
1.     Take a pinch of Raw Fenugreek Seeds, about 8 - 10 seeds
2.     Swallow it with water before taking your breakfast, every morning

The Cure:
The seeds of Fenugreek are considered good to reduce the blood pressure.

Home Remedy for Cholesterol

Cholesterol problem accompanies with Hypertension and Heart Problems. This is also one of the common problems in people who have High Blood Pressure and Diabetes. The home remedy for Cholesterol problem is RAW SUPARI.

The Process:
1. Take Raw Supari (Betel Nut that is not flavored) and slice them or make pieces of the same
2. Chew it for about 20 - 40 minutes after every meal
3. Spit it out

The Cure:
When you chew the supari, the saliva takes in the juice that is generated and this acts like a Blood Thinner. Once your blood becomes free flowing, it brings down the pressure in the blood flow, thereby reducing Blood Pressure too.

Healthy Remedy for Acidity

Acidity, it is said, is worse than Cancer. It is one of the most common dis-ease people encounter in their daily life. The home remedy for Acidity is Raw Grains of Rice.

The Process:
1.     Take 8 - 10 grains of raw uncooked rice
2.     Swallow it with water before having your breakfast or eating anything in the morning
3.     Do this for 21 days to see effective results and continuously for 3 months to eliminate acidity from the body

The Cure:
Reduces acid levels in the body and makes you feel better by the day.

Natural Therapy For Headaches!

In about 5 mins, your headache will go.......

The nose has a left and a right side.
We use both to inhale and exhale.
Actually they are different.
You'll be able to feel the difference.

The right side represents the sun.
The left side represents the moon.

During a headache, try to close your right nose
and use your left nose to breathe.
In about 5 mins, your headache will go.

If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose
and breathe through your right nose.
After a while, you will feel your mind is refreshed.

Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily. Left side belongs to 'cold'.

Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off" faster.
Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up.

Do you notice, the moment you awake, which side breathes better?
Left or right ?
If left is better, you will feel tired.
So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing..
You will feel refreshed quickly.

Do you suffer from continual headaches?
Try out this breathing therapy.

Close your right nose and breathe through your left nose.
Your headaches will be gone.
Continued the exercise for one month.

Why not give it a try.....a natural therapy without medication.


"स्वयं को ऐसा बनाओ"

जहाँ तुम हो !
वहाँ तुम्हें सब प्यार करें

जहाँ से तुम चले जाओ !
वहाँ तुम्हें सब याद करें

जहाँ तुम पहुंचने वाले हो ! वहाँ सब तुम्हारा इंतज़ार करें

8 आदतों से सुधारें अपना घर :

१) अगर आपको कहीं पर भी थूकने की आदत है तो यह निश्चित है
कि आपको यश, सम्मान अगर मुश्किल से मिल भी जाता है
तो कभी टिकेगा ही नहीं .
wash basin में ही यह काम कर आया करें !

२) जिन लोगों को अपनी जूठी थाली या बर्तन वहीं उसी जगह पर
छोड़ने की आदत होती है उनको सफलता कभी भी स्थायी रूप से नहीं मिलती.!
बहुत मेहनत करनी पड़ती है और ऐसे लोग अच्छा नाम नहीं कमा पाते.!
अगर आप अपने जूठे बर्तनों को उठाकर उनकी सही जगह पर रख आते हैं तो चन्द्रमा और शनि का आप सम्मान करते हैं !

३) जब भी हमारे घर पर कोई भी बाहर से आये,                                                                                                   चाहे मेहमान हो या कोई काम करने वाला,
उसे स्वच्छ पानी जरुर पिलाएं !
ऐसा करने से हम राहू का सम्मान करते हैं.!
जो लोग बाहर से आने वाले लोगों को स्वच्छ पानी हमेशा पिलाते हैं उनके घर में कभी भी राहू का दुष्प्रभाव नहीं पड़ता.!

४) घर के पौधे आपके अपने परिवार के सदस्यों जैसे ही होते हैं,                                                                          उन्हें भी प्यार और थोड़ी देखभाल की जरुरत होती है.!
जिस घर में सुबह-शाम पौधों को पानी दिया जाता है तो हम बुध, सूर्य और चन्द्रमा का सम्मान करते हुए परेशानियों से डटकर लड़ पाते हैं.!
जो लोग नियमित रूप से पौधों को पानी देते हैं,
उन लोगों को depression, anxiety जैसी परेशानियाँ जल्दी से नहीं पकड़ पातीं.!

५) जो लोग बाहर से आकर अपने चप्पल, जूते, मोज़े इधर-उधर फैंक देते हैं,                                                      उन्हें उनके शत्रु बड़ा परेशान करते हैं.!
इससे बचने के लिए अपने चप्पल-जूते करीने से लगाकर रखें,                                                                         आपकी प्रतिष्ठा बनी रहेगी

६) उन लोगों का राहू और शनि खराब होगा, जो लोग जब भी अपना बिस्तर छोड़ेंगे तो उनका बिस्तर हमेशा फैला हुआ होगा, सिलवटें ज्यादा होंगी, चादर कहीं, तकिया कहीं, कम्बल कहीं ?
उसपर ऐसे लोग अपने पुराने पहने हुए कपडे तक फैला कर रखते हैं !                                                               ऐसे लोगों की पूरी दिनचर्या कभी भी व्यवस्थित नहीं रहती,                                                                              जिसकी वजह से वे खुद भी परेशान रहते हैं और दूसरों को भी परेशान करते हैं.!
इससे बचने के लिए उठते ही स्वयं अपना बिस्तर समेट दें.!

७) पैरों की सफाई पर हम लोगों को हर वक्त ख़ास ध्यान देना चाहिए,
जो कि हम में से बहुत सारे लोग भूल जाते हैं !                                                                                           नहाते समय अपने पैरों को अच्छी तरह से धोयें, कभी भी बाहर से आयें तो पांच मिनट रुक कर मुँह और पैर धोयें.!
आप खुद यह पाएंगे कि आपका चिड़चिड़ापन कम होगा, दिमाग की शक्ति बढेगी और क्रोध
धीरे-धीरे कम होने लगेगा.!

८) रोज़ खाली हाथ घर लौटने पर धीरे-धीरे उस घर से लक्ष्मी चली जाती है और उस घर के सदस्यों में नकारात्मक या निराशा के भाव आने लगते हैं.!
इसके विपरित घर लौटते समय कुछ न कुछ वस्तु लेकर आएं तो उससे घर में बरकत बनी रहती है.!
उस घर में लक्ष्मी का वास होता जाता है.!
हर रोज घर में कुछ न कुछ लेकर आना वृद्धि का सूचक माना गया है.!
ऐसे घर में सुख, समृद्धि और धन हमेशा बढ़ता जाता है और घर में रहने वाले सदस्यों की भी तरक्की होती है.!

इस अति सुन्दर सन्देश का अपने घर में खुद पालन करें एवं शुभचिंतकों को भी उत्प्रेरित करें। ...

Chetan bhagat's Beautiful message!

ߒStay away from Anger.. It hurts ..Only You!

ߒIf you are right then there is no need to get angry,

ߒAnd if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

ߒPatience with family is love,

ߒPatience with others is respect.

ߒPatience with self is confidence and Patience with GOD is faith.

ߒNever Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears...

ߒDon't think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear...

ߒLive this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheer.

ߒEvery test in our life makes us bitter or better,

ߒEvery problem comes to make us or break us,

ߒThe choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

ߒBeautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful

ߒDo you know why God created gaps between fingers?

ߒSo that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.

ߒHappiness keeps You Sweet..But being sweet brings happiness.

Do Share it with all the Good People In your life.