Today is Jim's birthday ...
Today is Jim's birthday ...
So his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.
At the club -
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?
WIFE: How does he know you?
JIM: We play Golf together!
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again,Jim?
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?
Today is Jim's funeral.
So his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.
At the club -
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?
WIFE: How does he know you?
JIM: We play Golf together!
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again,Jim?
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?
Today is Jim's funeral.
Titan to Rolex
Titan : Tu bhi waqt batata hai, mein bhi waqt batata hu, lekin phir bhi teri izzat zyada kyu hai ??
Awsome reply.
Rolex : Dost....Tu "insaan ko waqt" batata hai Aur mein...
"Insaan Ka Waqt" Batata hu ...!
Awsome reply.
Rolex : Dost....Tu "insaan ko waqt" batata hai Aur mein...
"Insaan Ka Waqt" Batata hu ...!
A funny analysis...
If you follow the right man u become Tina Ambani If you follow the wrong man u become Karishma Kapoor ...
If you follow many men u remain Bipasha Basu (bachelor)... If you don't follow man u become Jayalalita ...
Beware do not follow man blindly...else u become Deepika Padukone...
If u keep on thinking who to follow.... Sorry... U will remain a kid like Alia Bhatt....
A funny analysis... If you follow the right woman u become Robert vadra...
If you follow the wrong woman u become Vijay maliya...
If you follow many women u remain Salman khan (bachelor)...
If you don't follow women u become Narendra modi...
Beware do not follow woman blindly...else u become Manmohan singh...
If u keep on thinking who to follow.... Sorry... U will remain a kid like Rahul Gandhi....
If you follow many men u remain Bipasha Basu (bachelor)... If you don't follow man u become Jayalalita ...
Beware do not follow man blindly...else u become Deepika Padukone...
If u keep on thinking who to follow.... Sorry... U will remain a kid like Alia Bhatt....
A funny analysis... If you follow the right woman u become Robert vadra...
If you follow the wrong woman u become Vijay maliya...
If you follow many women u remain Salman khan (bachelor)...
If you don't follow women u become Narendra modi...
Beware do not follow woman blindly...else u become Manmohan singh...
If u keep on thinking who to follow.... Sorry... U will remain a kid like Rahul Gandhi....
16 Reasons Indians Are Unique
1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl
2. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room
3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway stn) is an important family affair
4. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick
5. Every Indian mother has 2 careers - Working / Housewife + Match Making
6. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother
7. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy
8. We go on cleaning sprees only when we have guests coming over
9. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption
10. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12 Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!
11. If we live in another city and don't call our Mom daily , she’ll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive
12. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. “Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain.”
13. No matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue.
14. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta
15. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the remote and make it work?
16. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin.
2. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room
3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway stn) is an important family affair
4. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick
5. Every Indian mother has 2 careers - Working / Housewife + Match Making
6. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother
7. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy
8. We go on cleaning sprees only when we have guests coming over
9. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption
10. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12 Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!
11. If we live in another city and don't call our Mom daily , she’ll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive
12. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. “Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain.”
13. No matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue.
14. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta
15. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the remote and make it work?
16. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin.
Jimbak Doomba Amba Dandi Boomba
Teacher to Student - what is pie by 4 quarter amplitude phase modulation?.
Student - jimbak doomba amba dandi boomba.
Teacher - i didn't get you.
Student - same here babes.. same here!
Student - jimbak doomba amba dandi boomba.
Teacher - i didn't get you.
Student - same here babes.. same here!
The ...E... life !!!!!
In this world of E-mails, E-ticket, E-paper, E-recharge, E-transfer and the latest E-Governance...
Never Forget "E-shwar (God)" who makes e-verything e-asy for e-veryone e-veryday.
"E" is the most Eminent letter of the English alphabet.
Men or Women don't exist without "E".
House or Home can't be made without "E".
Bread or Butter can't be found without "E".
"E" is the beginning of "existence" and the end of "trouble."
It's not at all in 'war' but twice in 'peace'.
It's once in 'hell' but twice in 'heaven'.
"E" represented in 'Emotions', Hence, all emotional relations like Father, Mother, Brother, Sister,wife & friends have 'e' in them.
"E" also represents 'Effort' & 'Energy', Hence to be 'Better' from good both "e" 's are added.
Without "e", we would have no love, life, wife, friends or hope & 'see', 'hear', 'smell', or 'taste' as 'eye' 'ear', 'nose' & 'tongue' are incomplete without "e".
Hence GO with "E" but without E-GO.
Never Forget "E-shwar (God)" who makes e-verything e-asy for e-veryone e-veryday.
"E" is the most Eminent letter of the English alphabet.
Men or Women don't exist without "E".
House or Home can't be made without "E".
Bread or Butter can't be found without "E".
"E" is the beginning of "existence" and the end of "trouble."
It's not at all in 'war' but twice in 'peace'.
It's once in 'hell' but twice in 'heaven'.
"E" represented in 'Emotions', Hence, all emotional relations like Father, Mother, Brother, Sister,wife & friends have 'e' in them.
"E" also represents 'Effort' & 'Energy', Hence to be 'Better' from good both "e" 's are added.
Without "e", we would have no love, life, wife, friends or hope & 'see', 'hear', 'smell', or 'taste' as 'eye' 'ear', 'nose' & 'tongue' are incomplete without "e".
Hence GO with "E" but without E-GO.
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